Monday, 27 August 2012

Old Ghost Stories




This is an old story of mine. I used to write everyday and many times confused which stories should I write first. That time, the first theme that came up to my mind is one of my favorite subject, ghost related thing. I favor horror stories -books and movies, urban legends, folklores, etc.- and I always  think that because I like their stories so much they also like to linger around me and I don't mind if that's really happen, as long as they are not showing their uh well, distorted figure. 

By the way if you read this and think, "wait, this person really believe ghost do exist?" The answer is yes, I believe of their existence.  


So it all started in my freshman year. I always have nightmares since early age if I had a dream or to be exact if I remembered the dream. Those nightmares are so often that I became to like some of it. For instance, some nightmares turn out to be really "entertaining", giving the feeling like I just watched horror movie but I become the main actor; pump up my adrenalin but turn out to be okay in the morning when I woke up. But some are really scary and makes me felt uncomfortable the whole day after I woke up. That kind of nightmares including fell down from a very tall bridge into a vast area of thick mud below where creatures holds my hands and legs and mouth. Suffocating.

Moreover, I have bad sleeping habits. I used to sleepwalking and wandering the rooms in the house and sometimes ended in "strange places". One time I walked to the kitchen, taking a bowl and went to the bathroom. When I didn't come out after some times, my sister check on me. I was standing before the shower, holding the bowl solemnly. That's happened several times when I was really tired. Just standing somewhere dozing off until someone (my dear sister) saw me and took me (still sleeping and doesn't remember anything in the morning) to the bed. I also talk in my sleep and sometimes grind my teeth. Quite a nuissance for people who staying up in the same room with me. 

That night I had another nightmare and muttering something like "hahaha why are you so afraid?" In that dream I saw my two friends running from something/ someone frantically. Just as I saying the last word I say it loudly and thus woken up. And there I saw a dim figure near the door. My first thought is: "Wow this dream makes me hallucinated." Then I close my eyes thinking, like I always think to soothe myself since childhood time: Only dream. Then I open my eyes again. Okay I know, opening the eyes again is so wrong to do! I act like some stupid amateur character in the horror movies who gets killed because of her/ his stupidity. Of course the figure have not yet disappear actually it stand closer, precisely beside me. It bend the body as if she wants to check me. And if you ask if the ghost is pretty or not (why it always have to be a woman?) the ghost is headless so I can't give the fair judgment. But judging from the dress it clearly a woman or a cross dressing male ghost. At that time I acted like what I always think if I experienced this kind of situation; I act dead. Lying there frozen, terrorized, muttering some pray -sadly, the only pray I remember is a pray we have to chant before eating, so I can't blame God or angels, or whoever up there, for not diminishing that nosy ghost until morning came. In the morning, I found all my body felt stiff. Tsk tsk humiliating! 

I almost forget about "the incident" when I came home after staying at my friend's house for 3 days, doing some paper work. And my sister told me a "story". Actually kind of funny ghost story. 


My sister is an acute insomnia. She just can't sleep however tired she is and just wasted the time by watching television or read some books until morning come and stay in a hang mode almost all the time. 


So this night when I stayed at friend's house fortunately she able to sleep really really early (1 am). She can't stand cold weather (get really sick if she feels cold) but felt hot without air con so she switch on the air con and use a blanket to cover herself. Suddenly she got woken up and found out that her blanket had fell to the floor. She grab it and someone/something hold it from the other side. She ignore it -not just because she is sleepy but because she is really a no nonsense person- and pull it with all her strength. When she at last able to get her blanket back she cover the blanket to her shoulder to found that she sharing the blanket with a cold small hand.... 

At this point I stared blankly to my sister, thinking it's the right time for me to scream or... but my sister kept going on with an angry tone: "Just when I was able to sleep early! D*** fussy creature, what that h*** that creature want?! I want to ***** and **** the creature, so **** creature!" And she kept protesting, really angry because her sleep disturbed. :)))) 

The ghost's friendliness not stop there. After that many strange things happened, but that would be too long to be written here. :)

Sunday, 26 August 2012

The Death of My Suicidal Fish


The Death of My Suicidal Fish

from me to .....

my suicidal fish
big, orange, red
quietly merged
around the others
strong fishes
hardly floating

my suicidal fish
lives longer
than all other fishes
from nothing to everything
center of affection

unbearable

my suicidal fish
floating
in the water surface
burn herself
unsuccessfully

my suicidal fish
gather
all her strength
jumping
to the air
landed
on the earth

now
because she is
the only one
she has to be saved

all her effort
days of struggle
to reach the liberation
failed

because she is
the only one
now

hands gently put her
back into the pool
of desperation

kindness
that suffocate

selfishness, pride

my suicidal fish
waiting patiently
one day little
orange fish born

my suicidal fish
waiting patiently until
the little fish
gets stronger
and continue to live
day by day

my suicidal fish
quietly dying

One morning
she floated
with eyes wide open
staring to nothing

no tears
nor regret

she can die
because she is
not the only one
now

the suicidal fish
reach her dream
that morning

sacrificed
and
sacrificing.